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Why can't I stand up for myself?

  • Savita Level 1
    • 17

    Write the reason you're deleting this FAQ

    Why can't I stand up for myself?

    I've always had trouble standing up for myself. I want to know how to be strong, to get the things I want in life, in business and personal life. It can't be all about my putting others ahead of myself.

    # Mind & Body
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    brownie

    brownie

    I used to have trouble standing up for myself but then I realized that if I don't, then no one is going to stand up for me.
    11 years ago

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    anwebservices

    anwebservices

    I've always had trouble standing up for myself. I want to know how to be strong, to get the things I want in life, in business and personal life. It can't be all about my putting others ahead of myself.

    If you started thinking about this, then you are already on right path. Why can From my experience:
    1. Respect your self FIRST
    2. Respect others to be respected (BUT if they don't respect YOU, then they don't deserve to be respected at all)
    3. Set some realistic targets for your self and your business and never give up. If you fail, try harder next time.
    4. Try to do things which makes you happy.... Why can
    11 years ago

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    kylieanderson

    kylieanderson

    I have learned that the only way you grow as a person is to love yourself first and foremost. When you can do that, you will learn to have a better life.
    11 years ago

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    angie828

    angie828

    I have learned over the years that I need to stand up for myself. If I do not then I will not be as successful as I am today.
    11 years ago

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    Beverly

    Beverly

    There is a difference between aggressive and assertive. In your career or the business world, you can be assertive with your life by stepping forward toward your goals.

    When it comes to personal life situation, things might be different depending on whether or not you are single or have a family.

    As a single person, you will likely have more leeway to do things as you want, whenever you want without having to consider others. Enjoy your leisure time now and devote all the time you can to career and personal development as so much changes once you have a family. Now you only have yourself to think of, but later on, you will be busy thinking of others.

    In a family situation you will have to work as a team member with others toward common goals. You can't just say, 'this is how its going to be done'. You will have to talk to everyone involved.

    Like when you have a family and children, you will often find yourself helping everyone else in the house before you help yourself. That's how it is with me. I never have a snack or meal unless I'm going to share it with someone else. And I make sure that others in the house are well fed and cared for even if I don't have a chance to eat all day. So in that way, I put my family before myself.

    When it comes to work though, you must realize that what you are doing is for your own best good. And, if you have a family, then working benefits your family.

    So it is not selfish in any way to devote your time to your work as it will give you money to feed your family.

    There is nothing selfish about taking care of your family.

    If a family member is causing you not to get your work done, (such as by spending too much time on your computer), then you need to explain that what you are doing is for their own best good.

    As for your own specific situation, you would do very well by writing down all the things you want to get accomplished with your life including educational and career goals. State how you plan to accomplish each goal and put a deadline on each one.

    This will keep you focused on what you need to do, even when others want you to slack off or move out of their way.
    11 years ago

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    Samaria

    Samaria

    Aren't you worth it?

    Take a minute to think about that question.

    If you can't instantly answer yes then you need to work on your self esteem as somewhere along the way you lost the ability to see yourself as being worth the effort.

    Once you have repaired your damaged self esteem you will be on the road to a healthy and happy life again.
    11 years ago

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    wonderclerks

    wonderclerks

    You must do it by focusing your aim strongly.
    11 years ago

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    snic

    snic

    It will be hard if there're are poeple who you rely on completely or who do your job for you
    11 years ago

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    Beverly

    Beverly

    Aren't you worth it?

    Take a minute to think about that question.

    If you can't instantly answer yes then you need to work on your self esteem as somewhere along the way you lost the ability to see yourself as being worth the effort.

    Once you have repaired your damaged self esteem you will be on the road to a healthy and happy life again.


    Some people are just worried about hurting others by saying no. However, that can rebound on you.

    If you find yourself saying yes to too many people on too many things, whether personal or job related, then you will want to prioritize. Maybe you just don't want to disappoint others, however there is only so much you can do in a day's time. For that reason, you have to be careful of wasteful time distractions such as games and socializing that cut into valuable work time. Though it's nice to have friends and down time, that's not at all appropriate for job time. In that way, you will have more time to work and earn and prosper in life and ultimately that's how you will help your family be a success.
    11 years ago

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    dragonhunter95

    dragonhunter95

    Think you need to do that once, that will success, then again again.

    In my school time, i was very reluctant to go to the front and make speech like things. But I wanted to do so, so at later period of my life I became successful as a good speaker
    11 years ago

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    topclassseo

    topclassseo

    Self confidence help you to stand up.
    10 years ago

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    Beverly

    Beverly

    Self confidence help you to stand up.

    When you feel in control of your own life and destiny, you will have more self confidence in everything you do.
    Just believe in yourself and your abilities and you'll be fine.
    10 years ago

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    Niyantha

    Niyantha

    The reasons so many people allow others to step on their dignity and treat them with a lack of respect, care or kindness are as complex as human nature itself. But at the core it lies in our fear of what might happen if we do stand up for ourselves. Not believing in our own innate worthiness can cause us to settle for far less than what we want, need or deserve, at home, at work, in business, in life. Whole new possibilities open up for us when we refuse to let fear run our lives and find the courage to stand up for ourselves. So own your worth. Speak your truth. Treat others with respect and refuse to tolerate being treated with anything less than what you deserve. Remember, all it takes is 30 seconds of courage, and it has the potential to change everything.
    9 years ago

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    Barida

    Barida

    You need to understand that you're the best version of yourself. I mean it is only you that can really believe in you before others can start respecting you. Go for what you want and don't put others first anymore. Loving yourself is the best way to start.
    9 years ago

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    Corzhens

    Corzhens

    I think I am seeing my husband in you. He is a very generous person that his priority is always the others. But it's not a sin to be generous although there should be a limitation on the generosity even on a case-to-case basis. As a wife, I always remind my husband to give priority to himself and fortunately, he had changed since then. With your case, I think you have to be decisive with your dealings and always pursue what you want. Think not only of yourself but also your family and even your friends who will benefit if you will be happy with the changes in your attitude.
    8 years ago

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